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"Vince McMahon vs. Dana White at UFC 126 ends in bedlam, Vince distracted by 'not knowing who was supposed to win."
"Sheamus suffers sun poisoning on WWE tour of Antarctica."
"Eric Bischoff announces 7-year contract signed with Buddy Rogers despite having been dead since 1992; says 'his experience will help us set the stage for the unexpected.'"
"To commemorate his 'campaign against stupidity,' Edge announces live sex celebration with hand Mae Young gave birth to."
"RAW GM revealed to be David Arquette, Dixie Carter counters by hiring Courtney Cox. Millions of fans switch to TNA."
"Former XFL player 'He Hate Me' inducted into WWE Hall of Fame."
"Brett Favre announces unretirement at Wrestlemania, kicked in the face by Shawn Michaels."
"NXT season 17 ends with .02 cable rating, narrowly edging out TNA Impact."
"Jeff Hardy rushed to hospital after lethal dose of Children's Tylenol."
"Randy Orton re-hires Ken Kennedy just to have more places to put tatoos."
"Citing untapped potential, Vince McMahon resigns Mark Henry to 12-year deal."
"Mark Henry tears quad, out for 11 years and 11 months."
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